we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
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