you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
