I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
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