The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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