This girl is more easily done than said...
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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