my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize
