Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
