..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
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Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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