I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
