I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I could fuck to npr.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
