is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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