She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
