you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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