And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
