Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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