Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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