I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
