Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
