Got a toothbrush?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
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