my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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