check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
