Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
