it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
