I bet he comes in French.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
