I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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