btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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