Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
