Barsexuality is the new black.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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