Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
