I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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