Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize