she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
