I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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