Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
