Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
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