i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
