Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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