remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
