When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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