you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
