I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
