1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
