College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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