Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize