I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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