I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
