Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
