Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
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