What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
