she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Randomize