I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
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And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
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i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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