i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
They are going to name an STD after you.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
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