Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
