we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
someone owes me an orgasm
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Is it penis luge time yet?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
