Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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