I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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