I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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