sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
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