How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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