before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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