I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
