Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
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