Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
