My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
