I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize