everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
