That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
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I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
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He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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