is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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