yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
