Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
